Tuna Your Fish
by Katarina Freeman
Summary: Based on the song "Gettin Ready" in the Lyre Lyre episode of Xena, but with SpongeBobian characters inserted. Really really weird.


"Gettin Ready" is owned by... uh... Joseph DoLuca and probably Renaissance and USA, too. SpongeBob is owned by Nickelodeon. These lyrics came from my brain, though!  
  
Sbob = SpongeBob  
Squid = Squidward  
Plank = Plankton  
Sandy = Sandy  
MrC = Mr. Crabbs  
Patrick = Patrick  
Gary = Gary  
Chorus = Chorus  
1+1 = 3  
  
-------------------------------------------------------  
  
[Squidward, SpongeBob, Sandy, and Mr. Crabbs are all standing in the store]  
[Squid talks to MrC]  
  
Squid:  
Alright listen up  
With a little work  
You could sound like Flounderatti  
And the best sounding fish  
Will win a...  
  
[Squid falters, Sandy picks up patti]  
  
Sandy:  
A Crabby Patti!  
If y'all don't mind  
There's a contest for eats  
And we'll hold it right here  
  
SBob:  
At Mr. Crab's!  
  
[Plankton comes in to see what's going on]  
  
MrC:  
Where the food ain't got no grease! [wink]  
  
[SBob walks with a patti on a red velet pillow, admiring it]  
  
SBob:  
Hi Plankton!  
  
Plank:  
Hi SpongeBob  
What's the hurry?  
Why the scurry?  
Why the patti?  
  
[Flounderatti walks up]  
  
Both: Flounderatti?  
  
Flound:  
Did you hear? There's a contest in town!  
  
[Pearl, far away, can hear Flounderatti's booming voice, so she calls a friend]  
  
Sera:  
Hi Pearly!  
  
Pearl:  
Hi Sera!  
Daddy's store  
Yes, I'm sure  
Gonna sing!  
Or something...  
  
Sera:  
OHMYGOSH there's a concert in town!  
  
[Squidward is trying to play his clarinet, but is always interrupted]  
  
Chorus:  
Is there really a jam?  
  
Squid:  
Yes.  
  
Chorus:  
Can we participate?  
  
Squid:  
Sure.  
  
Chorus:  
Should we go there right now?  
  
Squid:  
Why not?  
  
Chorus:  
Or is it too late?  
  
Squid:  
NO.  
  
[The fish start walking towards Mr.C's]  
  
Chorus:  
Yeah there's really a jam  
For you and the rest  
So tuna your fish  
And give it your best!  
  
[They pass by Plankton, who goes to Patrick's]  
  
Plank:  
Hello starfish Patrick  
I'd love to win that patti  
Won't you let me sing with you?  
  
Patrick:  
Is there really a jam?  
  
Plank:  
Yeah, there is!  
  
Patrick:  
I could clean up that prize!  
  
Plank:  
That's uh, why I asked!  
  
Patrick:  
Hey, could you watch my house?  
  
Plank:  
But I meant...  
  
Patrick:  
See you later!  
  
[Patrick closes "door" on Plank]  
  
Chorus:  
Gettin ready!  
etc  
  
[Squid is out of tune]  
  
Squid:  
Hit your note  
In your key  
  
Plank:  
That's too high!  
  
Gary:  
Meow meow meow!  
  
[Plankton sees Gary suceeding, and tosses him away]  
  
Plank:  
Hello my friend, Squidward!  
I'd love to win that patti  
Won't you let me sing with you?  
  
[Squid flicks Plankton away]  
  
Squid:  
They don't know talent!  
Not like I do!  
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
[Music gets soft and etherial, the chorus singing in the high ranges]  
[Sbob stands in spotlight, staring at the microphone in his hands]  
  
Sbob:Chorus:  
I'll be up on the stage!Bikini Bottom  
Just me and the mikePlaying music  
  
[Squid shuts light off and cuts in]  
  
Squid:  
When Sponge starts to sing  
I'll outshine him like-  
  
[Plankton tears down black backround like a curtain, where the chorus is standing with their music books etc]  
  
Plank:  
Hello melodic chorus  
I'd love to win that patti  
Please just let me sing with you...  
  
[Music stops, they all walk away grumbling, Plank turns to camera]  
  
Plank: Well, this stinks.  
  
[Music starts again]  
[Sandy is at a sign-up desk at Mr.C's, chattering fish surrounding her]  
  
Sandy:  
But you got it all wrong!  
Please, just one at a time!  
If this concert's too big  
I'll go out of my mind!  
  
[The lines crowd her]  
  
Chorus:  
When you gotta sing, really gotta sing!  
  
[Larry is weightlifting and dancing at the same time]  
  
Larry:  
When the music plays,  
When my shell a-sway's  
Whatcha gonna do?  
Whatcha gonna do?  
  
Chorus:  
Normal Xena end, but "tune your citars" is replaced by "tuna your fish" 


End file.
